Pine Bluff, Ark. May 28^th 1864
Dear Father

I have waited So long with Sad disappointment in not receiving any letters from any of you that I have concluded to write myself and wait no longer. The last letter I wrote was to Margaret, but have had no answer. My health is much improved Since I last wrote to you I have been out of the Hospital now for nearly four weeks. The Doctors though have refused to let me do duty, yet I am feeling quite well but Still rather weak to do much. I hope that these few lines may find you, and mother and the Rest of My Relatives well. My term of Service is growing Short I have two months, and twelve days to Serve yet. I had hoped that by the time that I got out of the Service that matters would have been arranged So that I could have come home to see you

without incuring any risk to myself and others. As great as my anxiety is to see you, and my old mother I Still feel Loth to come; without I could do so in a manner agreeable to my feelings But to come in the way my affairs are Situated there Seems to me that Such a visit would render but Little Satisfaction either to you or me. I have Strugled hard and long for the last three years in this Service hoping that I could come home, and See you at least once more before I die; as undutiful as I may have been toward you, you do not and cannot know ^how^ my heart yearns to see my parents once again life, and to visit the home of my childhood.

But the question is with me can I come or Shall I linger out my life among Strangers; Such Seems to be my destiny. I want you to write, and Say what I shall do. I will await with Patience until I hear from you. I do not ever expect to become great but as Little as I feel I would be glad to see you.

If my health would permit it, I would Remain in the Service, but I am afraid I am not able to Stand another Campaign. I could now get the Position that I would have had long ago if my captain had not been killed. I could get a Lieutenants position, but in excepting it, I am tied to the Service three years, So under the circumstances I feel rather indisposed to accept a position that would in all Probability end my life. I think there is a Strong probability That this army will move Soon We have received at Little Rock about eighteen thousand reinforcements If a movement is made I think our Regiment will go with the expedition as our cavalry forces are very Scarce in this department. While the Rebel cavalry is pretty Strong. If our Regt goes I expect to go with it, If I feel as well, as I do now. We have had Some pretty hard fighting in this department but you have Seen the accounts in the papers no doubt.

I will close by asking you to write Soon give my love to all

I Remain your dutiful Son
John. W. Brookover